March Madness Day 4: “Dancing With Myself”

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Updated: March 24, 2014
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12:15pm:  Tipoff! I saw it two days in a row!  Aaaand, now it’s time to leave to take care of some moving arrangements (if you’ve ever moved in NYC, you understand the importance of this – totally excusable to miss what should just be a blowout on Kansas’ part, even though they’re my vote for “most entertaining team in the tourney”). 

2:52pm:  Just got home from errands and…holy crap, Kansas got knocked off by Stanford.  Stanford! Bracket busted, head is exploding, and I can’t believe I didn’t DVR this. Clearly I know nothing. Apparently Wiggins scored 4 points. I don’t even know what to say. 

Sad Wiggins

3:30pm:  Wichita St./Kentucky is amazing – like mind-blowingly so. But somehow I’ve ended up working again. As Cotton hits a 3, I realize I literally have the rest of the day to do this work. F this noise.

3:33pm:  This game is bananas – zero regrets about my decision. 

3:55pm:  GREAT low-post moves by Carter of Wichita State. Super legit – something you don’t see enough of anymore. 

4:27pm:  On Julian Randle’s and-1 dunk: “That is a grown. Man.  Move.” I love when the announcers get into a game. Wichita St. lead cut to one. I love that the 1-seed feels like the underdog. 

4:45pm:  Too big. Too strong. Kentucky has muscled its way back into this game. The physical level of play they bring to the game is making Wichita St. work for it. 

4:52pm:  Wichita St./Kentucky is my favorite game of the weekend so far. Neither team is willing to bend or even budge. 


Also, how much money do you think Bud Light lost on this “Up For Whatever” commercial? 

There can be no other reason they’re still trying to drive traffic to the site six weeks after the fact unless someone on the marketing team is trying to justify the outrageous budget for such a flop. Someone is going to be filing for unemployment soon. 

5:20pm:  “Didn’t know the bank was open on Sundays,” I tweet. Probably because he feels bad for me, @JesseLSiegel does not bust my balls for my mid-90s joke.

5:31pm:  Wichita State loses by 2. Complete gut punch. I just can’t believe it shook out like that.  Great open look for three – you can’t be mad at that shot, especially with only three seconds on the clock. I’m certainly not angry at it. You just wish it shook out differently. Great run, Shockers. Kentucky, you earned that. 

Aaron Harrison, Fred VanVleet

6:14pm:  Mercer is on!…and getting spanked by Tennessee. It’s early, but looks like the Bears have zero offense. They’re making Tennessee look like they’re stacked with blue chip players. 

6:31pm:  Love that Tennessee’s McRae was just called a 747 by the announcers. Some of these guys have really brought their A-game to the dance. 

6:49pm:  Willing Mercer to get back in this game. It looks like they’re falling apart. I can’t watch this.  Time to go back to UNC/Iowa St. 

7:23pm:  For the love of – that had to be the DUMBEST foul by UNC. When a guy gets by you with a clear path to the rim, let him take the bucket! Or if you’re going to foul him, freaking FOUL him! I cannot fathom what possessed the defender to give him such a measly push. 

7:27pm:  How do you leave that guy open?? After a huge bucket by McAdoo, they leave Iowa State open for a big big BIG 3. I mean, it was a beautiful shot, but come ON. 

7:29pm:  That was. Hands down, the worst sequence I have seen all weekend – courtesy of the Tar Heels. Just no hustle getting back on defense. UNC deserves to lose. 

7:31pm:  UNC tied it up with 15.7 seconds left. Defensive substitution. Gut-check time. Iowa St. to inbound. 

7:32pm:  What a strong play by Iowa State, just – can’t be mad at it. Ice water in their veins. 0.6 seconds left. UNC – you need a miracle. 

7:37pm:  Game is…over?  “Time out not called in time.” You gotta be kidding me. You have got to be kidding me.  I don’t care if this helps one of my brackets – those have been dead to me for a while. How…how did…I don’t even know. No team, except maybe Duke, deserves to go out like this. This is just depressing. 

7:47pm:  So disgusted with college hoops that I’ve switched to the Knicks. This will only end in further heartbreak. (Note at 11:17pm: it did.) 

8:24pm:  Baylor is up 19-7 on Creighton. I can already tell how this is going to end.

9:17pm:  Oh God…I’ve been working since the last update and turned the remote over to my girlfriend so I’d ignore the games and actually focus. Creighton is down 40-20 at the half. They may not even score 40 the whole game. 

I can’t believe I have a bracket where these clowns go all the way. I have no business writing about college hoops. Excuse me while I go stick my head in the oven. 

10:36pm:  That’s it. All these games are over. UVA up 23, Arizona up 19 – this isn’t even worth it. Today started with a bang and ended with a whimper…I refuse to dignify the end of the night with a response. I may be checked out on the last day of the tourney, but overall I can’t be mad at it. 

These were some incredible games, ridiculous upsets, and with the way this tournament’s been, it’s only about to get crazier. Now, let’s hand out some meaningless awards: 

The, “They are who we thought they were” award:  Tie between UNC and Syracuse. Teams that just completely fell apart when the pressure was on. Neither of their games showed me anything to get excited about.  Glad I don’t have to think about them until next year. 

The, “I can’t believe I’m losing to this guy” award:  Take your pick, Dayton or Stanford. Combined they have knocked off Ohio State, Syracuse, Kansas, and New Mexico. One of these teams will be in the Elite Eight. Repeat: we live in a world where either Dayton or Stanford will be in the Elite Eight. 

The, “Over before it began” award:  Congrats Mercer, you are the lone holder of this title. After knocking off Duke, you gained a huge following…then laid an egg against Tennessee. Speaking of which… 

The, “Most annoying argument for expanding the tournament” award: Goes right to the Volunteers. I can’t remember how far play-in teams have been getting recently, but considering these guys have a legit(ish) shot at making it to the Elite Eight, we will see this expand soon enough. 

The, “Latest team to be cursed with Jade Rothman’s support” award:  Wisconsin, you poor poor bastards. You put on a show against Oregon last night and looked like one of the most exciting teams left in the high seeds.  You’re now my vote to go all the way – sorry that means you’ll be losing to Baylor.

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